A Family Affair – 3 Generations in the Making
3-Generations, Paul, grandson Alex, son Mark (photo Paul Kill)
Ice Hockey is a fast and sometimes furious sport with lots of moving pieces. Without some law and order, chaos can quickly ensue. Enter the puck (biscuit) droppers and the whistle blowers, in the literal sense of the word. Often called Zebras or Stripes because of their attire, they rule the rink and ensure players follow the rules in this crazy, yet beautiful and exciting game on ice.
You don’t hear about or see many articles about officiating hockey and when you do, they are often imbedded in other hockey news or reports, tend to be negative and point out missed or blown calls that may or may not have affected the outcome of a game. Such is the nature of refereeing/officiating any sport. But there is another side of the story, a side that speaks to dedication, integrity, and meeting the challenges of the game where correct split-second decisions are the norm and a must.
I give you Paul Kill, his son, Mark, and his grand-son, Alex. This is a story about 3-generations of on-ice referees, their passion for officiating hockey and giving back to the sport they love.
I was aware of Paul’s officiating background for many years, but his story developed into something more recently. I approached him about telling this story and he agreed, not so much to tell or flaunt his personal accomplishments, but to share it with son Mark and grandson Alex in appreciation for them sharing Paul’s passion for officiating, that is: to referee in an objective and non-partisan manner, in every game, every time you step foot on the ice, to the best of one’s ability. The following was provided to me by Paul and I have added and edited to provide appropriate context. Q&A with all parties follows.
Three Generations of USA Hockey Officials: A Legacy of Excellence
In the world of hockey, few families can boast a legacy as rich and enduring as that of the Kill family. Spanning three generations, their dedication to the sport and their commitment to upholding the integrity of the game has left an indelible mark on USA hockey officiating.
Paul Kill: The Foundation of a Legacy
Paul Kill, on the ropes!
Paul Kill’s journey in hockey began almost 40 years ago, after spending 17 years coaching his two sons, Mark and John. His passion for the sport and his desire to contribute to the game in a new capacity led him to officiating. Throughout his four-decade-long career, Paul has officiated at all levels of youth traveling hockey, including both girls’ and boys’ games. He also spent many years officiating high school games before stopping about 15 years ago. Additionally, Paul has officiated in high-skilled senior men’s leagues and continues to officiate adult women’s games for the Women’s Hockey Association of Minnesota (WHAM) – the largest adult (ages 18+) women’s league in the world.
Paul’s influence extends beyond the ice rink, as he has taken on the role of mentor to many young officials. He is a member of the WHAM Officials board and serves as the Mentor Coordinator, responsible for training all new individuals interested in officiating within the WHAM organization.
This year, he had the distinct honor of mentoring his grandson, Alex, in district 2 and district 8. Watching Alex follow in his footsteps has been a source of immense pride and joy for Paul, as he sees the continuation of the family tradition.
Mark Kill: Continuing the Tradition
Mark Kill, Gen 2
Following in his father’s footsteps, Mark Kill has also made significant contributions to hockey officiating. Growing up under Paul’s guidance, Mark developed a deep understanding of the game and a strong sense of responsibility. His experience as a player and his father’s mentorship equipped him with the skills and knowledge needed to excel as an official.
Mark is a highly respected youth official and also officiates high school boys’ and girls’ games. He has earned the respect of players, coaches, and fellow officials through his consistent and fair officiating. His commitment to the sport and his ability to handle the pressures of the game have made him a valuable asset to USA hockey.
Alex Kill: The New Generation
Alex Kill, Gen 3
The newest member of the Kill family’s officiating legacy is Alex, Paul’s grandson. This year marks Alex’s debut as a hockey official, and he is already making a name for himself with his impressive performance. Under the watchful eye and guidance of his grandfather, Alex has quickly adapted to the demands of officiating and is proving to be a natural in the role.
Alex is a junior at Stillwater High School and has always played goalie on his hockey teams. In addition to being a brand new official this year and learning to skate without using goalie skates, he is also playing Junior Gold level hockey in Stillwater – and yes, as the goalie. Alex’s enthusiasm and dedication to learning the intricacies of the game have not gone unnoticed. His ability to make quick, accurate decisions on the ice and his calm demeanor in high-pressure situations have earned him praise from his peers and mentors alike. As he continues to grow and develop as an official, there is no doubt that Alex will uphold the Kill family’s legacy of excellence in hockey officiating.
Some Q&A with the crew!
I asked the guys a few questions to get some perspective on officiating this great game in the hopes that the answers would stir some audience interest and promote refereeing as a real opportunity for those interested as an alternative to hockey or something to pursue after hockey. I also wanted to find out more about the very popular WHAM league and their need for officials.
Q: What drew you to the refereeing aspect of hockey? You all played hockey for a long time.
Paul: I coached both of my boys for about 17 years from the time they were in mites through bantams and stayed involved in coaching until my youngest went off to college. When that was over a good friend of mine, Mark Bauer (also a hockey ref, and passed several years ago), told me I should get into officiating, that it was a lot of fun, keeps you on the ice, the people involved were really great, loved it and had a great passion for the sport. So, with little effort on Mark’s part, I decided to give it a try and was never disappointed.
Mark: I got into refereeing after spending a year as an assistant coach for a Junior Gold A team—the same team I played for in high school—after graduating from college. When the organization reshuffled its coaching staff, they offered me the head coaching role for the Junior Gold B team. At that point in my life, I wasn’t ready for that level of commitment. My dad suggested I try refereeing instead, saying it was a great way to stay active in the game while earning a little money. That was 25 years ago, and I’ve been officiating ever since.
Alex: Good way to make money in the winter while doing something I enjoy. My Dad and Papa had been doing it for many years and sold me on getting into it.
Q: There are several notable ref names in and around the Twin Cities area. Names such as Jerry Krieger, Bill Kronschnabel, Brad Shepard, and others. Did any of these or other referees influence your interest in refereeing in any way?
Paul: I knew all of these people but never refereed with them. I played youth hockey with Jerry and watched him on many occasions as he refed HS and college games. Dennis Alm, District 1 supervisor back then, was the closest I came to having a mentor when I started officiating and learned many of the fine points of officiating from him. At a referee’s instructor training seminar in Colorado Springs I met Mark Verplaetse, the USAH individual leading the seminar, and other officials from across the country with a passion for officiating the sport. In that seminar Mark cemented my desire to work hard in every game to ensure I’ve given my best to make sure the final game results were fair and unbiased.
Mark: I know this question is more directed at my dad, but I have vivid memories of going to Cretin high school hockey games with him as a kid and seeing Jerry Krieger officiate. My dad would always point him out and mention how they grew up playing hockey together. But honestly, Jerry was hard to miss— in the era before referees wore helmets, his hair was always perfectly in place, no matter how fast he skated. Today, I referee high school hockey for the St. Paul Officials Association, where all three of those legends—Jerry Krieger, Bill Kronschnabel, and Brad Shepard—have played a significant role. Their impact on the officiating community is undeniable, and it’s an honor to be part of the same organization.
Paul keeping close watch on the action
Q: Hockey games are intense and get out of hand quickly as coaches or players get emotional or angry. Any big disputes with parents, coaches or players come to mind over the years? How do you or did you handle these more intense situations?
Paul: Over the course of my career, I really had very few problems with coaches, players, parents or fans. As part of our training we try to give as much leeway to these high emotion situations as possible and do our best to handle them in a professional manner. The one coach encounter I remember was a HS game up north. The two teams were big rivals and the arena was packed, standing room only. The visiting team was getting their butts handed to them, the coach was a loud-mouthed jerk and on me the whole game. The team was taking every cheap shot possible and I accommodated them by issuing corresponding penalties – and the score showed it. Late in the game after I just placed another of his players in the box and was ready to conduct the faceoff in front of his beach, he placed his one foot on top of the boards, cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled “Kill (my name was on the back of my sweater), You are killing us”. I stopped the face off, went to his bench and motioned him to the end. At that time in a low voice ( so he had to strain to hear) I reminded him that due to his previous conduct I had given him a warning and later a bench penalty and that now he had just earned a GM. I then informed him the game would not continue until I saw him leave the arena and if he didn’t leave I would give him a match. Before leaving the bench, the coach turned, pointed at me and yelled “I’ll make sure you will never do any of our games again…” My only reply to him as I turned to go was to point to the name on my back and said “Coach, please make sure you get the name right!”. I skated to the faceoff area and watched to make sure he left the arena to the surprising cheers of most all the fans.
Mark: I don’t recall many major disputes with coaches, players, or fans over the years. I’ve probably had to eject fewer people than most referees, as I’m generally good at ignoring angry outbursts or diffusing tense situations. Some officials have a higher tolerance for that kind of behavior than others. One incident that stands out happened a few years ago while refereeing a regional playoff game at the Super Rink in Blaine. I believe it was a Peewee game when a player was injured in a collision. I saw the play clearly and determined there was no penalty to call. Since it was a playoff game, EMTs were on-site to tend to injured players, meaning coaches were not supposed to leave the bench and step onto the ice. However, in this case, the coach immediately jumped onto the ice—not to check on his player, but to sprint over and start screaming at me for not calling a penalty. At that point, I wasted no time showing him the door—not back to his bench, but out of the arena.
Alex: This is my first year refereeing and I’m mostly working games for squirts and U10 girls and they are usually pretty tame. I haven’t had any big disputes with any coaches or parents this year, but I did have one experience where a kid lost his temper and started throwing punches. I was working with an adult ref who mostly handled the situation. Other than that I haven’t had any other very intense situations.
Q: What are your favorite age groups to ref? Is there much difference refereeing boys or girls, men or women?
Paul: I enjoy the youth games and explaining to players, coaches, fans and secondary officials my reasoning for the calls I make. Most of the time I look at these as educational moments. Not much difference between refereeing boys and girls. Usually, the boys play is a little faster, shots are harder, and play is more aggressive. Girls and women play a more finesse game than boys or men. Most times the sr. men and women games are understood to be recreational in nature, fun and good exercise, realizing that when the game is over they all expect to return to their occupations/livelihood the next morning without a visit to an emergency clinic.
Mark: It’s tough to pick a favorite age group or classification to ref since they all have their pros and cons. I love the atmosphere of high school hockey, though it can get pretty intense. On the other end of the spectrum, I enjoy refereeing young kids who are just learning the game. A high-level Peewee game is especially fun because it showcases a lot of skill without the physicality of checking. One level I really enjoy—though I’m not sure many refs would agree—is Junior Gold. The skill level varies widely, but the players seem to compete without the same pressure of high school teams, where a bad game could mean losing their spot. Since they’re high school-aged, you can actually talk to them and have fun, and most of the coaches are pretty laid-back. Of course, some kids will still call you an @#%hole—but luckily, Junior Gold has its own special ejection rules for those guys.
Alex: I like working peewee games because they’re faster paced than squirts or U10s. I don’t really think there’s much of a difference in refereeing boys or girls games in these age groups.
Q: What’s neat about refereeing is that you get paid to be on the ice and enjoy hockey from a different perspective. In Minnesota, pay ranges from $10/15 to $40/50 per hour as you progress from just starting out to being a veteran high school ref…even higher for college games. How has that aspect of officiating been for you?
Paul: The pay for the games worked is pretty good and takes care of my summer golf expenses and a few night out with my bride. As with most leagues, the greater the skill level of play, the higher the pay. Keep in mind that each year every USAH official has to be certified to be issued a card and crest for the upcoming year. The amount of time and effort needed to comply with these requirements (tests, clinics, on-line training modules, background checks, SafeSport training and more…) is considerable. There is no good excuse for not knowing the rules for the sport you are being paid handsomely to officiate. If you choose to also work HS and college then there are additional rules, training and testing requirements.
Mark: As you’d expect, pay increases with the level of hockey you officiate. I don’t work college hockey, so I can’t speak to those rates, but it’s certainly the highest-paying level—and also the most time-intensive. Traditionally, high school hockey has paid more than youth hockey on a game-by-game basis. However, with rising youth hockey pay rates, the per-hour earnings can sometimes be higher for youth games once you factor in travel time, warm-ups, and breaks between games at the high school level. Pay does vary across Minnesota’s youth hockey districts and high school officials’ associations, but in all cases, it’s a great part-time job—especially for high school and college students getting into officiating.
Alex: I think the pay is really good for someone my age for the amount of time you have to put into it. You get paid better per hour for the amount of time you would spend refereeing versus working at a retail store.
Alex ready to drop the puck
Q: There is a lot of intense action during games, especially at the higher levels or older age groups. Did you ever get hurt?
Paul: Actually, I had my worst injuries at the lower-level games. Skaters at those ages are so small that you must take extra precautions to make sure one of them is not behind you and trip over them when backing out of an area. I have strained many a muscle and bruised a lot trying not to land on one of these little guys and turning them into a little flat wet spot on the ice. It wouldn’t be appreciated by many of the parents! At the higher levels I never received any serious injuries. I have had numerous bumps and bruises from sticks, pucks and collisions but thankfully nothing major.
Mark: I’ve had my share of bumps and bruises, but thankfully, I’ve never suffered a significant injury on the ice. Every season, I take a few deflected shots or clearing attempts off unpadded areas that leave a mark. I’ve also had some close calls where my helmet or visor saved me from an errant stick or a stray puck. The most persistent “injuries” I’ve dealt with are overuse issues, like tendonitis in my ankles (or “lace bite”) from spending too much time in my skates.
Alex: I have not gotten hurt as a referee yet.
Q: How did you get involved with WHAM and how long have you been the Mentor Coordinator and a member on their Officials board? Do they have their own specific group of refs for their games or do they utilize a broad organization of refs from MN or USA hockey?
Paul: I have been officiating WHAM games almost from the inception of the league. I’m sure it has been well over 30 years but I don’t know for sure. I don’t remember the exact year that I got involved with the WOA (WHAM Officials Association). WHAM decided that they wanted to better themselves by having a group of officials that were passionate about hockey and the advancement of women’s hockey in Minnesota. They appointed Krissy Langley as the supervisor for WOA. Somehow Krissy got my name, we met a few times and decided how we wanted the WHAM official’s association to function and set out to do it. Shortly after organizing the supervisory board, Krissy encouraged me to take on the position of Mentor Coordinator. I have been in that role for about 10 years. Krissy has since gone on and accepted the role as USAH Female Development Referee In-Chief. She now covers the whole country seeking women to challenge themselves to officiate at the highest levels. WHAM has a select set of officials to work their games. The Mentor Program has been very successful and over the years has helped to develop new officials, some of which have gone on to achieve huge national and international success.
Q: WHAM is a very large organization with several levels or tiers of player experience. In addition, they play all over the Twins Cities and MN. How are the refs assigned to the games and who keeps track of all that?
Paul: WHAM has its own scheduler who uses an APP called ARBITER for scheduling and assigning games. This app is used across the US and Canada and by most all of the districts and HS in the state. WHAM has about 10 skill levels of teams in the organization. The highest consists of players that have recently played in college including D1 and D3 schools. There are several of these players that had played professionally in the newly created women’s professional hockey leagues or had the opportunity to play there but declined due to conflicts with school, careers or personal decisions. The lowest levels are for those just getting into the sport and are 18 and older. New officials that come out of the mentor programs are initially assigned to these lower level games until their skills and confidence levels increase. WHAM officials are regularly reviewed to ensure officials are challenged in the games assigned but not overmatched.
Q: Thinking of all the various youth, high school, college and adult hockey organizations and leagues all over MN, how many different ref organizations are there in MN to cover all these games? Do they all fall under one umbrella organization? Seems like a monumental task!
Paul: There are 14 USAH youth districts in MN including WHAM as a district. All of these fall under MHOA – Minnesota Hockey Official Association. For more info check out this link: https://www.minnesotahockey.org/page/show/80470-home
MHOA is a district within USAH – District Minnesota. Check out the following link: https://www.usahockey.com/officials
There are also 4+ High School officiating organizations, plus college organizations like BIG10 etc.
Alex watching the action
Q: What level(s) of play, geographic areas and/or conferences do Mark and Alex ref?
Mark: I ref youth hockey in Minnesota District 2 (St. Paul and northeastern suburbs) and District 8 (south-southeastern suburbs). I also officiate for high school hockey with St. Paul Hockey Officials Association (SPHOA) and occasionally even work some WHAM games.
Alex: I ref youth hockey in Minnesota District 2 and District 8.
Q: Where does someone interested in the becoming a ref start? Does USA Hockey or MN Hockey have their own classroom and on-ice training centers and programs? Is the training or certification process ongoing as you progress to a veteran ref doing higher level games?
Paul: Start by registering at https://www.usahockey.com/officials
Then you receive a rule book.
Then every year:
Pick a clinic anywhere in the country to attend.
Complete USA on-line modules
Pass open book test
Pass clinic testing
Pass background investigation
Complete Safe Sport seminar
Receive Card and Crest
Contact district supervisor schedule games and or get mentored and evaluated.
Optional: attend regional and national camps for additional training
Mark: As my dad mentioned, the best place to start is by visiting usahockey.com and clicking “Become an Official.” USA Hockey offers virtual and in-person training sessions across Minnesota, typically beginning in August or September each year. There’s also on-ice training, usually provided by USA Hockey or Minnesota Hockey, and sometimes by local referee associations, to help new officials get comfortable on the ice. As you progress to higher levels, the certification process includes more advanced training and, in some cases, a closed-book rules test. The certification process for high school hockey, managed through the National Federation of High School Sports (NFHS), is separate from USA Hockey’s but follows a similar structure.
Q: With so many refs doing so many games is there any potential bias in what refs do what games for what teams, especially related to tournaments? If so, how is any bias prevented?
Paul: In most cases schedulers are looking to assign officials to games that fit their skill level, availability and dependability. Bias issues are the Responsibility of the district supervisors, schedulers and their boards and at a higher level Steve Tatro Minnesota District, Referee-In-Chief.
Mark: I don’t see referee bias as an issue. Most officials I know take their role seriously and remain completely impartial once they put on the stripes, regardless of where they’re working—even if they know players, parents, or coaches from a team. While many referees are also fans, coaches, or hockey parents in their own communities, that all stays in the locker room once the ref sweater goes on and the whistle comes out. At higher levels, such as high school hockey, assignors are mindful of potential conflicts and avoid scheduling officials for games involving their home school. During high school playoffs and the state tournament, the selection process is even more stringent to ensure fairness and eliminate any perceived bias.
Q: How often do you get to ref with Mark and Alex? Has to be a great time. How many games a week or month are you still reffing?
Paul: I mentored Alex so we did about 6-8 games this season. Mark and I were only scheduled about 4 or so. There is nothing I would rather be doing then refereeing with Mark and Alex and if I could I would adjust my schedule to get even more games with them. No greater feeling than being on the ice with them and watching them excel and participate in a sport we all love.
Paul & Alex – Faceoff Training
Q: How do or did you like refereeing with your dad/grandpa? What is the most significant thing about refereeing you learned from him?
Mark: Refereeing with my dad has undoubtedly been one of the highlights of my adult life. It’s a unique bond that we’ve been able to share, and I’ll always cherish it. I refereed my very first game with him, and I still look forward to every opportunity we get to be on the ice together—he’s the best partner I’ve ever had. Now, my dad and I get to share this experience with Alex as well. One of my biggest goals was to get Alex into refereeing before my dad retired, and I was lucky enough to see that happen. The greatest highlight of my officiating career came at the beginning of this season when I got to be on the ice with both my dad and Alex for Alex’s very first game as a referee. He and I were partners for a U10 girls’ game, and my dad was on the ice as his referee mentor. It was an incredibly meaningful and memorable moment for me. The most significant lesson I’ve learned from my dad about refereeing is that it’s something you can do for a very long time. It’s more than just officiating games, it’s a lifelong connection to the sport we love.
Alex: It’s really fun refereeing with my dad. My dad and Papa have pretty much taught me everything about refereeing when I’ve worked with them. I’ve learned it is important to make it look like you know what you are doing and “sell” the calls. My dad keeps teaching me about how important it is to hustle in every game.
Q: What is the most rewarding aspect of refereeing for you? The most challenging?
Paul: First and foremost is the opportunity to be officiating with my son Mark as he progressed through hockey and followed me into refereeing to become a very successful and knowledgeable official. Additionally, I am so proud and honored that Alex is following the same path that his dad and I took and I am sure he will follow up and become as successful as his dad. Most challenging is trying to negotiating rush hour traffic on I94 to get to a 5:00 game at Augsburg when running late!
Mark: The most rewarding part of refereeing, aside from getting to share the experience with my dad and son, is simply seeing kids out on the ice, having fun and enjoying the game. A close second is when a coach shakes your hand after a hard-fought game and sincerely compliments you on a job well done—it’s a small gesture, but it means a lot. The most challenging part for me is keeping my emotions in check when coaches or players start losing control of theirs. Staying calm and composed in those moments isn’t always easy, but it’s a crucial part of the job.
Alex: I like being able to be on the ice and be the one who is “in charge” of the game when I’m out there. It’s fun to be able to ref with my family, and it pays pretty well, so that helps too.
A Family Affair
The story of the Kill family is a testament to the power of passion, dedication, and mentorship. Paul’s decision to transition from coaching to officiating not only shaped his own career but also set the stage for future generations to follow. Mark’s commitment to maintaining the high standards set by his father and Alex’s promising start as an official highlight the enduring legacy of the Kill family in USA hockey.
In 2020 Paul received an award from the Minnesota Hockey Officials Association (MHOA). The award was first handed out in 2015 and only one official in the state receives it each year. This award honors an individual who has unselfishly made outstanding contributions to the officiating program in Minnesota during many years of service to the hockey community as an official and a volunteer. Congrats Paul!
The Kill Family journey serves as an inspiration to all those involved in the sport, demonstrating the importance of family, tradition, and the relentless pursuit of excellence. As the Kill family continues to contribute to the game they love, their legacy will undoubtedly inspire future generations of hockey officials for years to come.
Interested in Hockey Officiating?
There is quite a bit of information provided above if you or someone you know are interested in becoming a hockey referee. Paul also provided this contact info:
Women : Krissy Langley kl1620e@aol.com
FemaleDevelopmentRIC@gmail.com
Referee In Chief
Or
Steve Tatro District Referee-In-Chief
https://www.minnesotahockey.org/officials
Interested in learning more about the WHAM organization?
For more information about WHAM, check out their site =>> HERE.
